Constantine S01E07 Recap: Blessed Are the Damned

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Briarwood sign

In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. —Mark XVI, 17–18

The seventh episode of Constantine takes us to rural Appalachia, where one may find not only corn-on-a-stick, but in some corners, charismatic Christian ministers who still display their faith through the practice of laying on of hands, speaking in tongues, and snake handling.

The Serpent

A Pentecostal minister in Kentucky refuses to heed his sister’s warnings, and chooses to use a venomous rattler in the snake-handling portion of his sermon. Their church’s congregation has been dwindling since the former minister, their father, died, and he wants to put on a good show. OF COURSE the snake bites him in the middle of his spectacle, and he dies nearly instantly. As his sister tries to resuscitate him, a fiery feather appears in the dead minister’s hand, and he awakens. Stuffing the feather in his pocket, he leaps to his feet as the congregation gasps and cheers. A man missing part of a leg rushes down the aisle on crutches, and the minister lays hands on him. The man’s missing leg grows back, just like that. It is a miracle! Continue reading

Constantine S01E06 Recap: Rage of Caliban

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crowbarAlthough NBC announced last week that they will be halting production of Constantine after the filming of the 13th episode, we haven’t yet given up the ghost. The show has not officially been canceled, and is still being promoted (stars Matt Ryan and Angélica Celaya chatted with Al Roker during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade). There is also an online petition to keep the show on the air. Ironically, while the decision to halt production was made after only four episodes had aired, the show had a big bump in viewership the following week, and is doing better than most other programs in the occult detective vein, including Sleepy Hollow and Supernatural. In the sixth episode, “Rage of Caliban,” we learn a tiny bit more backstory about both Chas Chandler and John. No Zed this week (she is at an apparently really long art class), but the angel Manny makes a few appearances. Continue reading

Constantine S01E05 Recap: Danse Vaudou

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drinxLaissez Les Mal Temps Rouler

A reeling drunk in a suit stumbles out of a bar and into a dark New Orleans alley for a slash. As he braces himself against a wall and does his business, a girl turns down the alley, and the man holds up a police badge—to make her more at ease about the presence of a micturating lush along her path, we assume. Suddenly a beautiful woman wearing a grey silk gown and matching surgical mask bumps into the girl. “Do you think I’m pretty?” the masked woman asks.

pretty something!

pretty something!

“No, I think you’re crazy” is the wrong answer—the masked woman slashes and stabs the girl with a huge pair of dressmaker’s shears. The cop turns and empties a full clip into the woman, but the bullets have no effect. The girl is dead, the woman is gone, and the cop is wigging. Continue reading

Constantine S01E04 Recap: A Feast of Friends

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Updating the Meat Co. incident sign

Updating the Hoffrechter Meat Co. incident sign

In the fourth installment of the new series, Constantine’s sorry old friend Gary Lester appears. Gaz captured a demon in Khartoum, and managed to keep it bottled until his arrival in Atlanta, where it is released by a customs agent at the airport. Mnemoth is a hunger demon, manifesting as a swarm of insects, that inhabits human bodies in order to ravenously feed. While possessed by Mnemoth, the affected person goes on an unstoppable frenzy, indiscriminately and wildly shoving whatever even looks like food into their mouth until they physically destruct. At that point, the body shrivels, and Mnemoth escapes the dying and used-up vessel, swarming again to find its next unfortunate host. Continue reading